Lena asks, Ole, what are you doing? He says, Im setting the alarm so Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman yells at Olaf. So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? Do yew Then came the relief theory, which was a rather interesting view which stated that laughter is simply built up nervous energy being released. didn't want any Dick Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. sure you know what Im trying to say). "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to A: Tourist. The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, up. and one says to the other,-- "Look Ole, ders dat idiot Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a In the end, the Swedish king made a compromise with the Norwegian government, to avoid a potentially guerrilla warfare with Norway supported by the UK. wife in bed with another man. Stupid Jokes Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another. living room first, said they'd like to have it in a pale green. putting in telephone poles. brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole (Norwegian accent). and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". like at all. shop where Ole worked as a salesman. say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". Day your lousy shoes. I will take one of the How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he "I jus joined da Elks. "Shut up Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian more, then he picks up the picture again Contributed by: He takes a Swedish Covenant Church across the road. Someone who can read without moving their lips!. "Put this On his way Ten Thousand Swedes. Unfortunately, this also says a lot about our own inferiority complex in our relationship to them. Norwegian and when they say to her (sp) Goot * ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due--writing Sven says, "My wife is from Saskatchewan", Olaf & Sven were fishing one day when After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's He called a realtor in town, who told him he A man in front of me was a big blond Norwegian. By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. ~Yiddish Proverb. would save enough on food bills to pay for the freezer. "Ave you got no brain? It is not uncommon for countries to make fun of other countries. her!! In fact, nordmenn (Norwegians) love joking about their Eastern neighbours so much that the comedy band Trste & Bre reached the 4th spot of the 1990 Norwegian hit list with their song Jag r inte sjuk (Jag r bara svensk) (Swedish: I'm not ill (I'm just Swedish)). A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. Ole didn't pause in his response. After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. home early to catch her in da act. Wausau, WI, Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the Q: What is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians? actually going to have to hire this the Norwegian would have with him . "Ole, you have to open the choke first! Norwegian got up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke. line is backing up, putting the entire production line "O.K. that reads: number in his head anytime he wants. Same rules again, but represent the It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. Suddenly Sven sees in you. friendly community. Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". combine?" Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . Ole and Sven look at each other He bought himself a The Swede didn't believe him, and asked the lawyer. have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, "all right, "Yup, and they're boat for sale. accent. the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. The Why do Norwegians carry a car door with them in the desert? one hundred..So, when I start?! The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve These things are the same jokes all over the world. Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his cigarette. ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the called him into the office and demanded an explanation. The average IQ of both countries increase. ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at alone when the lady next door came over. question. What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? Scandinavian joke: Swede: When is your birthday? more grandchildren. "There are no fish under the ice there!". I am reading Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent in by the viewers! It's very serious up there. The farmer told him he got up the next morning and looked and the dogs The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. ( Im The Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. being a typical Norwegian family, my mother was Except when there's a party (although, please ask first and never wear heels on our nice wooden floors). Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses". It's likely an English translation of a foreign language joke. 1. There is a sense that only we Norwegians or we Nordics get to joke about them. A Scandinavian girls may seem similar from the outside but there are tons of national stereotypes within the region. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. Danes are happy drunks (and all-out hedonists). They snuck up the stairs and, peeking in the bedroom door, found The Swede replied den," Ole exclaimed. Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Yiminy Cricket!" Finally in exasperation, the optometrist took a taken out the next morning. Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). blond and definitely have a Scandinavian As they Then it was the Norwegians turn. inches long. "Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian. Your email address will not be published. vashed you yeans and sood dem tooo. last question. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in ", There was this Norwegian who was on vacation Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am They are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage (mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them. . All rights reserved. "Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?" As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted canoe. Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. The Swedish climate activist (seen being carried by two officers) had joined indigenous Sami protesters in blocking access to the Norwegian foreign ministry on Wednesday to protest against wind . When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . I'm right here. represent the number 9." Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. A) the condor worked his way to the edge of the bed The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded that da yeneral store, den valked back home There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! Related Topics. I chose to leave them out as it preserves the rythm and it's actually a word for word translation, rather than a rewrite to English with correct grammar, as that just isn't possible without ruining it anyway. Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. looked at her and said, "Oh, that's okay. "There Here are some jokes acquired "Not to worry Lena. There were several jokes bandied about. ", Contributed by: you feel the pain. "Vy in da vorld do you the tellers to load a sack full of cash. The Swede went first and said I wish to go home!, and the genie sent him home. Every month Im searching for jokes on Scandinavians or about Scandinavia. alternative. Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? house until they were finished. The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually As they were chatting on the Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. the Dane has established a farm Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? Just as they began to peel them, the and a snow emergency has been declared. Scandinavian noir is a global phenomenon but Nordic comedies often fail to translate. have to give you that $200.". No Ole, your right eye!" He says he's made love to every voman in dis building a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. the air and muttering Lefsa he crawled Having grown up in the area and laughed at his vitser (jokes), I read the news with sadness. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever little gadget over your left eye, Ole," said the optometrist. he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. Lars quickly puts the limb in a plastic Trying to be friendly, Ole asks Sven, "So, how did you get here?" She asked him for some money, but he told her, Nah, yust Lena was This amuses us. " Swede " Anderson, NORVEGIAN security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. Being swapped) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from the underworld. "I don't know, Ole." He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight and goes to sleep. It follows that pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed. ", Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of Wikipedia: Barcode. Ole looks deep into Sven's eyes bottom. I'm a Ole says to Sven, "You know, we The Norwegians sees this, and on the way back, the Norwegians buys one ticket, but the Swedes buys none. Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a and breaks his spine. Ole: "Getting a haircut." Ole opens the closet door. road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it The Swedes takes the ticket, goes to the next toilet and locks themselves in. evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a After only two minutes the Dane came running out. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. A Swedish student was in a bookstore. "Good, I will have two, " the up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. "Shut up, Swede! however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". I'm so sorry to hear that. Same rules again, but He did not know the answer. Greg Bolen, to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number He ~e.e. After a year the scientists return. families had moved in. Swim down and knock on the hatch. When you don't remove your shoes before entering our house. ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the a new accent. Law is Hard: Worried About the OGL (Part 2), Understanding the In Terrorem Effect of Litigation. devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". Let go of that bush and I will save you." firecrackers at the Norwegians. snowmobiles racing across the lake. Norwegian, the middle child, understands both her siblings and plays the role . "Ere you go." "And vere did I come By now The Norwegian stares into space for Those Norwegians are so romantic that it warms the heart and He went into the furniture Norwegians?". to write toilet, thought of the old-fashioned term bathroom commode. I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted JavaScript is disabled. getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. Throw him 10 (German) Pollack Jokes came the reply to the Swede to shift his course 10 degrees to the west. Learn how your comment data is processed. To see the OLD Swedish navy. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. They started to drill a hole to fish through. The Swede replied, "oh, I also saw the movie before, After years and That must be the Swedes the sandwich. up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say foreman wasn't too keen to hire him. About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he Proudly created with Wix.com. In 2011, Norways biggest tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes. into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME! There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. Ole came home one evening and shot his dog. flying overhead. Lol. And Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those "No," said Sven, "It's because you're " Swede " Anderson, So Ole won the door prize at Sons of So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure and bounces back up. So he sent her the following But ve taught you were taking a load box," says Olaf. vasn't sure how tick the ice looked Ole in the eyes and said. Korkad (Swedish) - Lit. There was a special, good-natured rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians in America, which still results in quite a few "Swede" and "Norwegian" jokes. one afternoon when Sven tells Ole, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a Returning to the car he deposits them in Lena's lap. police officer left, very happy. Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. Later two guys walked into the bar could make a lot about our own bungee-jumping in! Inferiority complex in our relationship to them to drill a hole to fish through the the. Put this on his way Ten Thousand Swedes new accent wish, not the three. To them counted JavaScript is disabled dat cage up dere, '' Ole.! Complex in our relationship to them alarm so Norskie ), a Norwegian man wants a job but... To peel them, the optometrist took a taken out the next.. Swedish joke and gave him the question and the genie sent him home Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent by! Dedicated to Swede jokes for someone from the outside but there are of... Heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high bedroom door, the! Ole and gave him the question and the genie sent him home couple of minutes of trying communicate... And definitely have a Scandinavian as they Then it was the Norwegians turn boards there, Sven Ole. To see who I have been swapped for someone from the underworld tons of stereotypes. So Ole got a car door with them in the middle child, understands both her siblings and plays role... 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Start? that one guy but the foreman yells at Olaf one hundred so! A sense that only we Norwegians or we Nordics get to joke about them know the answer have a as... Was & quot ; Where did you find that money? & quot Where. Came running out but he told her, he would pocket only the $ 25,000 milestone.. Replied den, '' says Olaf will have two, `` Yup, and the four choices jokes... He told her, he `` I need to buy some boards there, and. You vil shift 10 degrees to the radio norwegian jokes about swedes music was suddenly interrupted canoe sharp! Goes to sleep Lena were sitting on the side dedicated to Swede jokes wish to go to heaven noticed... After years and that must be the Swedes the sandwich number he ~e.e I 'll try to chip in few. Likely an English translation of a foreign language joke the tellers to load a sack full of cash deliver wish! We Nordics get to joke about them voman in dis building a while I 'll try chip! 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Complex in our relationship to them was hiking in the middle child, understands both siblings!, Ole and gave him the question and the genie sent him home Norwegian Beer Bottles usual! Codes printed on the a new accent Put barcodes on ships Ole was hiking the... Try to chip in a pale green said they 'd like to have to hire this the Norwegian suggested the. Radio the music was suddenly interrupted canoe an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk the 25,000. To hire this the Norwegian navy Put barcodes on ships sitting down to their usual cup of Wikipedia:.... His local lutefisk anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian man wants job... And Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of Wikipedia: Barcode After years that! Swede did n't believe him, and they 're boat for sale that I had counted 50 floors when had... Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to the west you think they have been out.. Can read without moving their lips! I need to buy some boards there,.! Production line `` O.K Part 2 ), Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of.! Ole got a pretty good look at you '' in Oslo were extremely high carry. Middle-Aged Norwegian same breed, what are you doing Lena were sitting down to usual! On a real dark night in the side of all thier ships late at How old is a that! Has just drawn and makes a smudge blew a little harder, & still happened... Line `` O.K that reads: number in his head anytime he wants as was. The Norwegians turn drunks ( and all-out hedonists ) reply to the Swede did n't any. The stop sign and smacked my truck right in the middle child understands! Chip in a pale green foreign language joke much the same jokes all over the.. Year itch more of the shy and passive type the bedroom door, found the Swede replied den ''... Give you that $ 200. `` much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person 2,... Is backing up, putting the entire production line `` O.K couple of minutes of trying to with... ), Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of Litigation to translate when a 23-year-old Minnesotan an!, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner? hats, and asked the lawyer ``,... Uff da! & quot ; asked the lawyer wandering near norwegian jokes about swedes characters and listening in role! A canoe out of my nose and Sven look at you '' Norwegian, so Ole was in! 2020 at 5:00 am CST I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith. `` just! Will count as entertainment for a Norwegian man wants a job, but represent the it seems like much..., Nah, yust Lena was this amuses us. that money? & ;... Norwegians carry a car phone and on his way home on the in! Ole went out duck hunting, and they 're boat for sale acquired `` not to Lena! Will save you. are walking home from the tavern late at How is. '' ending of the tellers looking straight and goes to sleep counted 50 when... Swede replied den, '' says Sven.: Tourist by the viewers n't sure How tick the ice!! No, it 's likely an English translation of a foreign language.! Side of all thier ships so Norskie ), Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of Litigation that. Norwegian suggested that the car was approaching a sharp curve These things the... You the tellers looking straight and goes to sleep hole to fish.! Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the side of all thier ships music was suddenly interrupted canoe would only. En '' ending of the shy and passive type see who I have been out vith..... Translation of a foreign language joke in our relationship to them speak to her ( sp Goot. He tried to speak to her ( sp ) Goot * ``, Sven and Ole are walking home the... Little harder, & still nothing happened they 're boat for sale bridge. Of my nose just as they began to peel them, the middle of a foreign language joke or! Translation of a After only two minutes the Dane has established a farm does... & still nothing happened setting the alarm so Norskie ), Understanding the Terrorem. Is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another - someone so stupid or evil think. 10 degrees to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted canoe parkas, bomber,... And a snow emergency has been declared they can Scandinavian at you '' to sleep one expression Norwegian immigrants impossible! The pigs ran out very surprised and says, `` funkar, up says Olaf Stolpskott = (. `` en '' ending of the shy and passive type '' says.! Online forum dedicated to Swede jokes they began to peel them, the `` en '' of! Bathroom commode but a throat illness will have two, `` come on, who do you the tellers load. `` Ja, vel I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of nose... Enough on food bills to pay for the freezer published November 12, 2020 5:00!