No one is purely good or evil. That sense of safety, of trust, of legibility and coherence. Be the first to learn about new releases! Robot". And that feels like a spiritual practice. Diversity and inclusivity are not just industry buzzwords. I describe putting together an outfit as making an altar on my body. We define ourselves by what we are not., The days that I feel most beautiful are the days that I am most afraid. When you experience us and our, our, and our way of being, you realize that there is an alternative way. And what most people dont know is that one of the tactics of colonization was the attempted cultural genocide of these populations. And how funny it is, the way the universe works, where in withholding one ability it allowed me to recognize my super ability. "So I guess I would rephrase your question to be, 'Can you help me get free?' Are these my own feet? Gender is not what people look like to other people; it is what we know ourselves to be. I was feeling and being. So because I couldnt go out and dance, because I couldnt go distract myself, because I was in pain, I had to sit with the pain, and I had to make something out of it. "And in your statement, you said, 'Why don't I help them?' Every time Im feeling shame, I breathe into that location. That we all give and receive violence to varying degrees, but that this is not a fairy tale. In the early 20th century, when women were advocating for the right to vote, men created postcards that showed women dressed up as men and men dressed up as women, Vaid-Menon said. Why would you do this, if it exposed you to more harm and scrutiny? Show more. If it was universal and just, it would not need to be constantly proven. Could it be that we actually are practicing something thats so important and organic and necessary that its more important than that? Different ways of looking would not be seen as a threat, just another way of being. Trans and nonbinary people also shared parts of the interview on Twitter. Dont miss this powerful poem from Alok Vaid-Menon, performing in Minneapolis, MN. And I had pretty substantial burns all across my hands and my feet and my arms. . Claim to Fame: Mx. That response has deep historical roots, they said, noting that they've studied gender, sexuality and sociology at Stanford University. In one memorable moment, Mx. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. I think that I always want to remember and teach the world that I was born with a heart, two lungs, two eyes, no shame. What a joy it is to be able to curate the sounds of my own soundtrack. She is the partner of comedian Kate Clinton. I was paying so much attention to the ways in which I was discriminated against that I forgot to pay attention to the ways in which I was already free. 0 coins. What kind of person do I want to be? No one else should be able to tell you who you are; thats for you to decide., This repression is something we first did to ourselves. "I'm nonbinary, which means it's not just that I'm challenging the binary between male, female, man and woman, but between us and them," Vaid-Menon, author of "Beyond the Gender Binary," said. Stuart C. Wilson / Getty Images for The Business of Fashion, postcards that showed women dressed up as men. I used to love dancing, and I think dance was my first language. And so what I used to do is, I would just dance for my local Indian community. School, Vaid-Menon explained to me, was difficult, and they needed an outlet. AAE Named to Inc. Best Workplaces in 2022. What kind of joy do I want to cultivate? In her eyes my journey was about hurting her, not about healing myself. Please select your budget range:(check all that apply), Please select your budget range: Before we come to a close, Alok shares their practice of how breath can be used as a tool to move through moments of discomfort. I now know that there are as many ways to be beautiful as there are people. Alok Vaid-Menon: The Urgent Need for Compassion. We fear that if we don't conform, we will be abandoned, but there is no loneliness like having people only see you after you've erased yourself., maybe i have given up fighting for "mine", Wed love your help. There were years of my life that I didnt allow any audio or video recording of me whatsoever. I didnt have shame. Heartbreaking, brutally AAE is one of the premier celebrity booking agencies and top keynote speakers bureaus in the world. For information about shipping and international shipping times, visit the Button Poetry Store FAQ! But for me, beauty is what we feel like. The Mandala Lab is reserved for family programming from 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM every Sunday. It always has been, and it always will be. Vaid-Menon asked the cisgender hosts, including Justin Baldoni and Jamey Heath, to consider if they were ready to heal. Thats the thing that people are saying to me when they recognize me on the street now I loved your podcast interview, they said. They share with us their spirituality, poetry, and what it means to live beyond the gender binary. Search instead in Creative? With every tear I am seeing the miracle of body. Anyone can read what you share. Are you willing to go back? when the train starts up againthe woman next to me starts complainingand asking why he didnt do it at homehow he could have saved us the trouble and timeby taking a bottle of pills before leaving the househow selfish it is to delay others with your death, and i want to hug her say: remind me the purpose of this arm want to love her say: remind me the purpose of this heart, but you see this is americawhere people scatter on streets like discarded leaves only touching accidentally as weland on these cities we grew up circling on mapssaying remind me happinessand somehow convinced ourselves they didthe same way we believed in the borders betweencountries so well that we built a wall aroundthem: called it mine, this is america where pain is a ritual we are required to conduct in private:an elaborate symphony on mute, call it he died in his sleep peacefully(as if the stroke did not tear him to pieces), call it he lived to be eighty six years old(as if he didnt hate himself for at least thirty of them), death is a distraction.it is thirty of us sitting together underground on a subway trainunable to hold each other and weep so insteadwe sit in silence and wait until we can move againback above groundinto the lightand forget how much death must be in the soilto grow such beautiful denial. That sense of safety, of trust, of legibility and coherence. #degenderfashion love & need you [email protected] say: i understand. say: these past thirty minutes were the first time i have been forced to publicly grieve death in a long timeand there is somethingbeautiful about that say: what if we stopped moving more often, took a second to absorb the pain,let it fill us a little less empty. The LGBTQ+ community was sook by the death of one of their leader and activist. Vaid-Menons presentation, often blending traditionally feminine shapes, such as bras and skirts, with clothing that defies gender categories. And what I gained was my life back. No need to encapsulate my universes into frameworks of gender. Or is this someone else? Wayfarer Studios LLC. Rather, we are trying to make standard that there is no one way to be beautiful -- there is just your way to be beautiful. It was a dance that I wanted to stage for my own community. "I dont need to be legitimized. An insistence on radiant beauty, despite all of the vapidity and the vehement violence. Is this my own beauty? they tell us that someone jumped in front of the tracksthat he died upon impactso we just sit there in silence as they remove his remains. Rather than telling cisgender people how to help trans people, Vaid-Menon said they reframe the conversation to ask cisgender people if they're ready to heal from the ways the gender binary has affected them. To have relationship with our beauty thats our own beauty? Alok Vaid-Menon on how the transphobic narrative constructs predators and victims WebALOK VAID-MENON: I sacrificed so much. Like Im going to let a couple finish, but its the after-party for me. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices. Because there are things more important to me than that. Please click here to let us know what you think: bit.ly/manenoughsurvey The Man Enough Podcast, produced by Wayfarer Studios, P&G Studios, in partnership with Cadence13, an Audacy companyLaunch Partner: P&GHOSTS: Justin Baldoni, Liz Plank, and Jamey HeathJOIN THE MAN ENOUGH COMMUNITY:Instagram: https://instagram.com/wearemanenoughTikTok: https://tiktok.com/wearemanenoughFacebook: https://facebook.com/wearemanenoughSubscribe to our newsletter for behind the scenes, updates, and new episodes: https://manenough.com/newsletterRead the book: https://manenough.com/booksFOLLOW THE HOSTS:Justin Baldoni Instagram: https://instagram.com/justinbaldoniJustin Baldoni TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justinbaldoniJustin Baldoni Facebook: https://facebook.com/justinbaldoniJustin Baldoni Twitter: https://twitter.com/justinbaldoniText Justin: +1 (310) 845-6909Liz Plank: https://instagram.com/feministabulousLiz Plank TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@lizplankLiz Plank Facebook: https://facebook.com/feministabulousLiz Plank Twitter: https://twitter.com/feministabulousSite: http://www.elizabethplank.com/Jamey Heath Instagram: https://instagram.com/jamey_heath_Jamey Heath TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@jameyheathJamey Heath Twitter: https://twitter.com/jamey_heath_Jamey Heath Facebook: https://facebook.com/jameyjazSite: http://www.jameyheath.com/ALOKALOK Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alokvmenon/ALOK Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlokVMenon/ALOK Twitter: https://twitter.com/alokvmenonALOK youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG_G2mCoGdNUIOPaPrgorHgFollow: https://manenough.com/podcast#ManEnough #ALOK #GenderPRODUCED BY:Wayfarer Studios: https://www.wayfarerstudios.comWayfarer Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/WayfarerEnterP&G StudiosExecutive Producers: Justin Baldoni, Jamey Heath, Tarah Malhotra-Feinberg, Marc Pritchard, Carrie Rathod, Chris Corcoran To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. "They've repressed their own femininity. I sacrificed so much. And I have never been good at waiting. The reason you don't fight for me is because you're not fighting for yourself fully. In a secular world like the West, art is one of the only spaces for this mode of relating, this kind of unfurling. A Tibetan Buddhist Journey Toward Enlightenment. And so actually I had a relationship with my body that I am still trying to remember, which was, I just moved to communicate. And thats what were seeing, unfortunately, in 2021. "And I don't think the majority of people are ready to heal, and that's why they repress us as trans and gender-variant people because they've done this violence to themselves first," Vaid-Menon said. In a world structured by dichotomy and dualism, we transcend and invite another way of not just living but thinking, not just thinking but living. When Alok Vaid Menon performed this spoken word poem live at #Spoken2019, they left the crowd stunned. Why do engrained beauty standards so often require some of us to become invisible in order to make other people feel more comfortable? Whether ALOK is selling out an international performance tour, publishing essays and books advo-cating for LGBTQ equality or speaking at some of the most prestigious universities outlining a 21st century approach to gender rights their distinctive mix of charisma, poetry, and intellect has made them one of the most dynamic artists of our times. After transitioning I vowed that I would never again compromise my dignity for likability. Transgender Model & Advocate; Founder of Gender Proud. Despite constant invalidation, so many transgender people transition because we know there is a quiet and fierce dignity to being able to look at yourself and say "this is who I am.". And so now what Ive realized, and this is the spiritual realization, that when I am not living in practicing my radiant beauty, I am doing harm to myself. Mara is often described as representing the inner forces of illusion and ignorance. Alok Vaid-Menon in Oxfordshire, England, on Nov. 22, 2019. Alok V Menon on Fashion's Genderless Future | #BoFVOICES 2019, Alok Creating Safe Spaces For Trans & Gender-Nonconforming People, Challenging the Gender Binary with Alok Vaid-Menon | Be You, Funeral - Alok Vaid-Menon | Spoken Fest 2019, Beyond The Gender Binary (pocket Change Collective). Vaid-Menon's response, which broke down how Heath could actually better support trans people, has gone viral. Normativity looks like a specific sneaker brand being upheld as the best. And then I ask it until I can remember that the shame was not my own. Awaken is sponsored by Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, a print and digital magazine dedicated to making Buddhist teachings broadly available. The serious power of Vaid-Menons art lies in their social justice advocacy, informed by their journey in a world that all too often punishes nonbinary people for simply being who they are. P.S. Because I value community and connection, lets connect Instagram ( @CadeHildreth ). The Museum closes at 5:00 PM on the Friday before Labor Day, the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and New Years Eve. Fill out the booking request form or call our office at 1.800.698.2536, and one of our agents will assist you to book Alok Vaid-Menon for your next private or corporate function. Poets use carefully chosen language to connect with audiences, advocate for social causes, and convey emotion. And the alchemic work of rematerializing what was into what could be is the work of being alive, I think. Big Break: This summer, Mx. Science Says No. And I woke up in flames. The emphasis on our appearance distracts us from the real focus: power., Conforming to the gender binary was about wanting to hold on to power., Conformity requires us to minimize our differences for the greater good. "I'm just doing this to help." And that degree of intention, I hope to bring into everything. For more information about our guest and to see images of the artwork in this episode, visit RubinMuseum.org/awakenpod. In her eyes my journey was about hurting her, not about healing myself. No one else should be able to tell you who you are; thats for you to decide., We want a world where boys can feel, girls can lead, and the rest of us can not only exist but thrive. comedian. to live in america is to blame thedead for their own death, notthe country for creating the veryconditions that already killed thembefore they caught up andmade things more clear, which is why when i tell theliberal who wears words like diplomacyand democrat that i will not pay his taxesbecause i do not want my coins to cause carnageand he calls me a terrorist(i understand), which is why when i tell himthat i do believe in monsters who comeout at night, call them men for shortand he tells me that i only dress femme because i want to be bashed(i understand), which is why when i tell himthat the very women who started our movementare still being murdered in the same cities wheremen are getting married and calling it momentousand he gasps: that happens here? Atlanta-based company Mailchimp calls Aloks talk required viewing for the world and Cornell University uplifts Aloks presentation as truly life-saving work.. Her nephew is also a transgender activist and performer, Alok Vaid-Menon. As I continue my journey of self-acceptance, I see so much more beauty around me. And so, what I guess Im trying to cultivate in my life is the kind of courage and conviction and stamina to continue every day to ask myself, Who am I? In this sculpture, the Buddhas right hand is depicted touching the ground as he calls the earth to witness his triumph over the demon Mara. And that dissonance, I think, is the crisis of our times. Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. i will apologize for being late.i will not have the words for a type of loss that is so distant it is intimate.after lunch later i will get back on the train.i will remember. It gives legitimacy to the way that we police and restrict one another's appearance. Because thats the substance of life itself. This writer and performance artist is fighting for a world where all people are Tragedy, death, loss and love are essentials we struggle to accept. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Because the thing is, you have revelations about yourself, but youre not ready yet to live those revelations. The message that men who opposed the vote for women were sending to other men was that were going to be feminized and were going to lose power, and its going to be women who are making us do what weve done to women: take care of the kids and stay at home, Vaid-Menon said. All American Entertainment Named to Inc. Best Workplaces in 2022. "Thats the paradigm shift I really want to move away from is that the fear and the danger makes it so that people arent ready to receive love. And what a delight and what a joy it is to be foolish together. 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